If I got an hour and a half I was lucky.
But it was not anxiety, nor restlessness, nor fretting of future endeavours that were keeping me up. It was the sheer presence of God in my very room coupled with the reality of the times we are living in that brought abour an absolute stubborness to my eyelids.
Ephesians.5 has a great verse which says, "be careful therefore how you live, because the days are dark". Other translations replace the word "live" with the word "walk". "Be careful therefore how you walk..."
After a night of being wide awake both physically and spiritually, I have been confronted with the story in which Soloman was given the liberty to ask God for anything, knowing wih absolute assurity that what he asked for would be his. Somehow the allure of wealth, fame, victory over his enemies paled, in that moment, into absolute insignificance when measured up to the wisdom of God.
Knowing the thoughts of God.
Hearing the voice of God with clarity.
Feeling his heart beat.
The famous passage of Matthew 6:33 pulsates through my very core this morning..."seek first the kingdom of God". I haven't yet moved onto the part where God grants Soloman everything he didn't ask for aswell as all that he did ask for. Nor have I yet come to the end of the verse that says "and all these things will be added unto you". My heart is still catching up with the first thing. First the Kingdom!
My prayer today (and hopefully everyday till my faith becomes sight!) is that every fibre of my being, every breath and every resourse that I have at my disposal would fall in line with this chorus! My money WILL be tied to something that has eternal value!
My desire WILL be for his fame and reknown!
In my season of singleness, my affections, heart and energy WILL be spent in pursuing him alone!
When I get married that that would not change except that my marriage WILL become a weapon for the kingdom!
That my home, car and wallet WILL become dispensers of grace and Gospel frontiers!
And above all else, that my heart WILL pine, ache, long for and yearn for the very presence of my God.
A little bit strong you may say? Consider this:
"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too
weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and
ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go
on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the
offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."— C.S. Lewis
(Weight of Glory and Other Addresses)
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