The Golfing Pastor

Golf. (noun)

 

THE original four letter word.

The activity that consumes pastors thought lives (above church growth, tithing and the age old Armenian versus Calvinism debate) and that same past-time that becomes the basis for every second sermon illustration.

If you haven’t heard an AW Tozer quote, the new buzz word “mission” or a good golfing anecdote recently, then you haven’t been in church for a while.

Over the last month or so I have had the privilege of playing golf with church-planters, pastors, leaders and friends (or at least I thought they were friends until they got all competitive on the old links) and the incredible truth is that it’s hard to separate the pastor from the golfer. By this I don’t mean that there’s a lot of praying on the course, except maybe when a wayward drive is heading to the out of bounds. What I am suggesting is that one can learn a huge amount about the style in which a fellow minister of the gospel is leading his church just by observing them closely as they traipse up and down the eighteen hole golf course.

Let me explain what I mean by suggesting that there are four types of pastor-golfers:

 

1.       The Big Hitter

-Impresses all those surrounding the first tee by confidently whipping out “the big stick” (usually with a comment about which tour player is also presently using it) before smashing a drive into the stratosphere to the sound of muffled gasps (usually emitted by an already downcast and short-hitting red head). Don’t be surprised to find that the next 18 holes will be filled with conversation around new buildings, the next big thing in church ministry coming out of their church and why Mark Driscoll isn’t all that he’s cracked up to be. Right here is our Visionary pastor.

2.       The Up and Down Scrambler

-Usually pretty straight off the tee, albeit not that far, but will surprise everyone at the half way house when his five unflashy pars and his four one-putt bogeys put him in the lead with a solid and some-what workman-like 40. You won’t hear much from him from tee to green but from the time a putt is sunk and the yardage book is taken out on the next tee this pastor golfer will tell you the book he’s currently reading, ask you searching questions on a heart level as well as offer you an invite to come preach at his church soon. Tick yes and you’ve found your four-ball’s pastor.

3.       The Very Chatty Mulligan Taker

-Probably the snappiest dresser in the four-ball, this pastor-golfer is all style and talk whilst on the course and his slender handicap only makes sense when you realise he “gives” himself a couple do-overs on each half of the clubhouse. He will also be the one to help you search for your ball in the rough though, mainly to get in the punchline of his joke, but also to add some helpful advice on what he would do from where your ball now lies behind the tree at the corner of the dog-leg. Amongst all the “you dropped your lip-stick” and “get in the hole!” comments, he will also likely speak about the latest Bethel phenomenon, tell you about his church’s new preaching series as well as have worked out what everyone’s score will be if “we go even the whole way home”. Will also pay for everyone’s food and drinks at the 19^th hole. Introducing your prophetic pastor

4.       The Pro

-His pale blue Pringle shirt is tucked into his chino’s to give the perfect shirt-belt-pants combo, and his softly guided four iron off the tee down the middle let’s everyone know that he’s got this one under control. He hardly misses a putt, leaving all and sundry either marvelling at his unflappable temperament or muttering under their breaths that “he obviously has a lot of time to practice.” He has a big church, but he doesn’t have to tell you. The mere fact that he purposefully turns off his phone shows that he is expecting calls but he has a big enough team at home-base to cover it. Don’t know if that or the consistent backspin on his wedges is more impressive. He talks about preachers you’ve only heard on i-tunes by simply just using their first names. Everyone likes him, until he makes them putt a three footer for the win, and on the backstroke reminds you that this putt is to avoid paying for breakfast. He plays hard on the course and laughs hard (at you? With you?) in the clubhouse. He’s your strategic pastor.

And he definitely does multi-site.